This Little Light of Mine

ORIGINALLY POSTED JULY 20TH, 2008

Yesterday I decided to take my children to Mass on Saturday evening instead of Sunday evening when we usually attend. I made that decision because our neighborhood park is celebrating its 50th anniversary tonight and it starts at the same time as we would leave for church. Sometimes I feel guilty about doing things like that. I almost felt like I was putting an evening at the park in front of God. But I chose to view it a different way.

First, I made a conscious effort to attend Mass because it is so important to my children and I. At the same time I made a choice to spend some quality time with my children. Due to our lousy financial situation, we don't do anything - we don't go out, we don't eat out, we don't shop, etc. With this arrangement, we get to go out and spend quality time together two nights in a row - we get to spend time at Mass with Jesus and fellow Catholics and we get to attend a free evening of food, games and music. These things are not more important than Mass, but they are important to a happy, cohesive family.

All that being said, I now believe that God's hand was involved in this decision. I have been feeling a little down this week. My children and I are currently staying in another family's second house rent-free because we couldn't afford a home on our own. With our financial picture so bleak, this was a grand blessing and a load of stress off my shoulders. We had a safe place with space to spread out and play. I could work on the magazine and the children could play in the yard. It was the perfect gift, until I was informed by my friend's husband that we had to leave in favor of a family who could afford to pay rent. We now have to find some place to go by the end of August. As you can see, there's been a little stress this week, along with some hurt feelings.

At Mass, my son was on his best behavior (he usually isn't). I actually got to hear the Gospel and the Homily. This is something new and different for me! Anyway, we were listening to the Gospel and I tried to explain a little of it to my son. It reminded me of thoughts I have sometimes - maybe you do too - when I wonder why God allows those who do 'bad things' to live long lives, sometimes even to prosper. Well the Gospel answered that question for me last night. It's not like I've never heard or read that portion of the Bible before, it's just that sometimes we are better in tune to what God needs us to hear.

There will always be people who hurt us; whether it's just our feelings or by hurting us physically or financially. They are the 'weeds' planted by the enemy and we are the 'wheat'. God does not to risk damaging His harvest by yanking up those weeds. However, God will deal with each weed at the harvest time and then the wheat will rejoice.

So, God's not going to weed my life for me. Does that mean I have to just accept the weeds in my life? Does that mean I have to let my life be darkened by their presence? No. Here's what I meant by God's hand guiding my decision yesterday... The priest, not our regular priest, gave a terrific Homily. And I actually got to hear it! He said that even though the weeds may darken our lives, God makes it possible for us to be a light in that darkness. The Kingdom of God has been planted and it is growing. It's just not time for the harvest yet. Yet, just as Jesus is the Light of the World, we are all part of Jesus. Therefore, we all have light that we can shine. If we all just shine our little lights, can you imagine how much darkness would disappear? I needed to hear what this priest had to say ~ and God knew it!

Therefore, I choose to let my light shine. I will not allow the decision of my friend's husband to get me down. I will not let my financial situation get me down. I will shine my light by being positive in what seems like 'the darkest hour'. I will trust that even as God provides for the sparrows, that God will provide for my children and I. I will trust and pray for a safe place to live, for an adequate income and the success of TG! magazine. I will continue to praise God for all the blessings I have in my life; which include: my children, my mother, TG! magazine and all its readers.

My children were listening to Bob & Larry's Sunday Morning Songs this morning and one of the songs on that CD is "This Little Light of Mine". So, with the Light of Christ within me I am not going to hide it under a bushel, nor am I going to let satan blow it out. I am going to Let It Shine!